Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
