So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
