haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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