you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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