I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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