now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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