Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
