Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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