WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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