Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
