If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I don't think brook has ever known best
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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