Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize