I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
