If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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