so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
