i would punch a child for taco bell
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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