Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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