Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
