i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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