i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
