He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
