party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
