on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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