Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
