I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
