I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
