I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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