Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
