You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
