I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize