He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
