O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
