What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
