she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
