so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
