hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
