Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
