Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
