our cab driver is having phone sex.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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