I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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