Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
