No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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