When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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