I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
