i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Someone signed my nipple.
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