I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
