i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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