you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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