i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize