so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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