I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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