yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize
