It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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