I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
