I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
