"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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