who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
