see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
