Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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