my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
