I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
