I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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