But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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