And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
