Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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