I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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