We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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